I realize the bible is the basis for all of our laws, but I'm still
unclear on some things.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Can I own Canadians?
2. I had a daughter and wanted to sell her into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with men while in my period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. Do I have to take this as personal time off work or just unpaid medical leave?
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. My neighbors claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2.clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. Is there a difference between lobster and scallops? Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. Do I have to kill them myself or is there someone I can just report them to?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. Many local farmers violate Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field. Many of my co-workers wear garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
unclear on some things.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Can I own Canadians?
2. I had a daughter and wanted to sell her into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with men while in my period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. Do I have to take this as personal time off work or just unpaid medical leave?
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. My neighbors claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2.clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. Is there a difference between lobster and scallops? Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. Do I have to kill them myself or is there someone I can just report them to?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. Many local farmers violate Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field. Many of my co-workers wear garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
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Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Thu, April 21, 2005 - 10:56 AMDear Bob, we respect your right to worship as you so choose provided your beliefs do not infringe upon the rights and freedoms of others. This includes Canadians, Mexicans, your daughter, sacrificial bulls, your neighbors, shellfish, your coworkers, local farmers and people who choose to sleep with their in-laws. -
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Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Thu, April 21, 2005 - 2:26 PMi think a vote is in order. -
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Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Thu, April 21, 2005 - 3:04 PMI think that we need further clarification for point 1. Does a neighboring nation have to be a shared border? If not, what is a reasonable distance? Since France & the US lie on opposite sides of the same body of water, may I own a French chef? -
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Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Thu, April 21, 2005 - 3:09 PMseeing as how the usa is a republic of independent states, can i just have all the people of idaho moved to montana as slaves?
we need a bigger backyard. -
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Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Fri, April 22, 2005 - 9:46 AMIf you read Jon Carroll's article (SF Chronicle column from Friday 4/8) about the Unitarian Jihad, he was playing off religious fanatacism and how that would manifest in an organization that valued considered moderation. Here it is again:
sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi
I think jokes of slavery and killing don't really represent this vein of humor. Maybe the concepts of Unitarian Universalism could use a little review? From the uua.org (which has a lot more good information than included here), Unitarian Universalism promotes:
The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
For Unitarian Jihad, think fanatical tolerance. I hope that helps. -
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Unsu...
Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Fri, April 22, 2005 - 9:52 AMThank you for this post. This is exactly the right idea. -
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Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Fri, April 22, 2005 - 10:29 AMthank you brothers and sisters for moderating my extremist views on slavery and land occupation.
i was this close to smiting my heathen breatheren in a fit of self-justification, and you pulled me back.
i ask to be sent to work on the sub-committee for heathen reparations forthwith. my first agenda item shall of course be the round table discussion on the authenticity of heathenism.
blessed be. -
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Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Fri, April 22, 2005 - 11:03 AMThat's more like it, Brother Pepper Spray of Forgiveness! Welcome to the fold. I'd like to help facillitate extreme moderation and the validation of the unpolarized views of the secular everyman on your sub-committee as well.
Yours in the Unitarian Jihad,
Brother Gatling Gun of Quiet Reflection
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Unsu...
Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Fri, April 22, 2005 - 11:23 AMI shall create a discussion thread forthwith. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Sun, April 24, 2005 - 2:59 PMCarrie's got one of the coolest and prettiest tattoos I've ever seen. -
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Unsu...
Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Sun, April 24, 2005 - 5:57 PMAhh! Thanks! I've actually got a bunch more, but no pics right this minute. My camera's not wanting to have peaceful dialog with my roommates computer, and until I can facilitate their reconciliation, I'm not able to post any more.
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Re: I'm still unclear on some things
Thu, August 31, 2006 - 5:11 AM"Sacred cows make the best hamburger."
I think the jokes of slavery and killing could represent this vein of humor. Pointy sticks have more impact than rounded ones when you are poking folks. You have to respect the research that went into the original post. Joking about something doesn't mean you are a bad person. Taking your religion seriously doesn't mean you can't make fun. If god did't have a sence of humor, she would't have made us from monkeys.
Of course, I could be wrong.
Mother Arrow of Welcome
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